Why our own model of the world informs our beliefs about sharing passwords in a relationship

Would you trust a partner not to access your personal accounts after a break-up?

New research conducted by mobile phone insurance provider Better Buy Insurance suggests that nearly two-thirds of Brits (65%) don’t.

We asked performance trainer and life coach Jamie Skipper to share his views on the debate around trust and privacy in relationships.

As a life coach and NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) practitioner, I’ve coached hundreds of clients with “trust issues”.

I’ve also had the great pleasure of working with clients on their relationships and have even been a mediator between husband and wife.

And the one thing that always comes to the surface is the issue of trust.

In this context, the question many may ask is ‘why wouldn’t you share your passwords with your partner if you have nothing to hide?’.

To answer that, go back 30 years and ask yourself if you’d share your personal diary with your partner.

Your every thought and feeling about your life, in every changing moment?

You might answer ‘yes’, but I want you to really think about that for a moment.

We don’t keep diaries these days in the digital world, although we do have apps and notepads that can replace it.

Imagine your life on your smart phone – everything – your contacts, your messages, your social media, pictures and videos, everything stored digitally in the palm of your hand!

I believe trust starts with ‘the self’.  Everyone has different values and beliefs and we need to respect those, and when we think about our own individual view of the world, there’s no right or wrong.

In this context, both of the following statements, ‘If you have nothing to hide then you would share your passwords’ and ‘If you trusted me, I wouldn’t need to share my passwords’ are right according to your beliefs.

Know thyself before you ask your partner for their password or to share their phone.

Respect other people’s privacy and individuality, respect their model of the world and remember that your beliefs are not necessarily theirs.

Some people keep journals or notes on their phones, or they may have messaged their friends about an argument you had, or a friend may have confided in you and sent a personal message that is between friends.

It doesn’t always mean that someone is cheating on you if they don’t want to show you their phone or share their accounts with you.

Would you trust a partner not to access your personal accounts after a break-up?

“He was logging on to my Facebook account and deleting my male friends!”

New research conducted by mobile phone insurance provider Better Buy Insurance suggests nearly two-thirds of Brits (65%) say they’d change their passwords, while nearly four in ten (38%) say they wouldn’t feel comfortable about a current partner having access to their personal accounts.

We asked subjects from our survey group to share their own experiences of social media and exchanging passwords in a relationship.

Becky from Manchester admits she wishes she’d changed her password following a recent break-up with a boyfriend.

“My ex knew my passwords to everything and when we broke up he was logging onto my Facebook and Instagram, and unfriending and unfollowing pretty much every boy I had on there,” said Becky.

“I only found out because my friends asked me why I had unfriended them, when I knew I hadn’t.

“I had a hunch it was him, so I confronted him, and he said he did it because he didn’t want me speaking to them.

“He was on my Instagram and Facebook accounts, snooping and reading all my messages, and deleting everyone for about a month before I realised.”

Sarah, who is from Sheffield, says she discovered something unexpected when snooping on a partner’s phone.

“I was in a relationship with a guy who had cheated on his ex-girlfriend with me before breaking up with her to be with me,” explains Sarah.

“A couple of months passed with no problems, I trusted him and we had a great time.

“But he eventually became a little distant and started acting the way he had when he was cheating on his ex-girlfriend.

“I approached him about it and he told me I had nothing to worry about and that I was being paranoid, but he continued to act strange.

“One day when he’d gone to the bathroom, I snooped on his phone and found that on a night where he’d told me he had gone to bed, he had actually gone to meet another girl.

Sarah adds: “I broke it off with him. Having spoken to the girl since, I know nothing happened, as she found him ‘cringey’ but I’m still glad I got out when I did.

“I haven’t snooped on another partner’s phone since, however I probably would again if I felt he was lying to me about something important.”

iPhone XR insurance and launch

iPhone XR insurance will soon be available here at Better Buy Insurance. The new iPhone from Apple is available to pre-order on Friday 19th October and will be in shops a week later on Friday 26th October.

Those that follow the world of mobile phones will know that the iPhone XS launched last month. This phone is the most expensive phone Apple have ever produced so many customers have probably been waiting for the less expensive XR. The 64gb iPhone XR is £749 if you buy it sim free, which is a popular way of buying mobiles these days, not exactly cheap, but not bad compared to the cheapest XS at £999.

The XR comes in 6 different colours – white, black, blue, yellow, coral and (PRODUCT) RED. The pricing is as follows:

iPhone XR 64gb – £749

iPhone XR 128gb – £799

iPhone XR 256gb – £899

If you want to take out iPhone XR insurance with us here at Better Buy Insurance it’s only £7.49 a month or £79.99 a year. For that you are covered for:

  • Loss
  • Theft
  • Accidental damage (cracked screens etc)
  • Liquid damage
  • Breakdown
  • Accessories cover (up to £150)
  • Worldwide cover (90 days in any one year)
  • Unauthorised calls and data (up to £2500)

And you also get:

  • Instant cover
  • Unlimited claims
  • Cover for use by your immediate family
  • Excess only £75 for phones valued up to £899 (when new) or £100 for phones valued at £900 or more (when new).
  • A 5 star defaqto rated policy
  • Mobile phone data backup

The new handset is pretty good by the sounds of things. Apple claim it has the most powerful chip that’s ever been put in a smartphone, a screen with a liquid retina display, faster face ID and a new camera system that is a huge improvement on previous models.

So if you are upgrading to the new XR and need iPhone XR insurance more info is available here – Better Buy Insurance