Why our own model of the world informs our beliefs about sharing passwords in a relationship

Would you trust a partner not to access your personal accounts after a break-up?

New research conducted by mobile phone insurance provider Better Buy Insurance suggests that nearly two-thirds of Brits (65%) don’t.

We asked performance trainer and life coach Jamie Skipper to share his views on the debate around trust and privacy in relationships.

As a life coach and NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) practitioner, I’ve coached hundreds of clients with “trust issues”.

I’ve also had the great pleasure of working with clients on their relationships and have even been a mediator between husband and wife.

And the one thing that always comes to the surface is the issue of trust.

In this context, the question many may ask is ‘why wouldn’t you share your passwords with your partner if you have nothing to hide?’.

To answer that, go back 30 years and ask yourself if you’d share your personal diary with your partner.

Your every thought and feeling about your life, in every changing moment?

You might answer ‘yes’, but I want you to really think about that for a moment.

We don’t keep diaries these days in the digital world, although we do have apps and notepads that can replace it.

Imagine your life on your smart phone – everything – your contacts, your messages, your social media, pictures and videos, everything stored digitally in the palm of your hand!

I believe trust starts with ‘the self’.  Everyone has different values and beliefs and we need to respect those, and when we think about our own individual view of the world, there’s no right or wrong.

In this context, both of the following statements, ‘If you have nothing to hide then you would share your passwords’ and ‘If you trusted me, I wouldn’t need to share my passwords’ are right according to your beliefs.

Know thyself before you ask your partner for their password or to share their phone.

Respect other people’s privacy and individuality, respect their model of the world and remember that your beliefs are not necessarily theirs.

Some people keep journals or notes on their phones, or they may have messaged their friends about an argument you had, or a friend may have confided in you and sent a personal message that is between friends.

It doesn’t always mean that someone is cheating on you if they don’t want to show you their phone or share their accounts with you.